Monday, September 27, 2010

My imagination keeps getting away from me.

My little niece Lucy has a birthday tomorrow! [She's the little blond one on the left]. I had fun getting this make-believe lover a sparkly, twirly ballerina skirt today to pop in the mail.  Before finding this newest dress-up accessory, I scouted out Target looking for something to do with mermaids, because Lucy keeps telling her mommy [that's my sister Brittany holding her in the picture] that she wants to grow up and be a mermaid.  I have to agree.  I too would love to grow up into a mermaid.  Alas while I failed to procure mermaid-like attire, I began to wonder what kinds of children's clothing I'll be getting next fall.  Will it be Batman PJs, or wispy skirts with sparkles?

It's surreal not to know the age or sex of the children Scott and I will start a family with sometime soon. We've passed our adoption homestudy and our next move is to complete the paper work going to Ethiopia, and get on a waiting list.  Once on the waiting list, we will wait to get a referral for one or two children under the age of 5.  The category seems so vast today. If one of the children is four years old at the time of referral, we could be starting school next fall. And if one of the children is 6 months old, we could be heavily investing in diapers for years to come.

Having 6 nieces and nephews to watch grow, play and celebrate birthdays with has both prepared us and excited us about the prospect of becoming parents to children of all ages.  As we continue to pray for God to guide us in our path to adopt, and as the time goes closer to when we may be bringing home children, my imagination grows.  I look at girl's hair styles and wonder how curly our children's hair will be.  And randomly I'll think 'Is it still too early to buy a swing for our backyard?'  It's all silly, but it's now a well-trod bunny trail that my mind keeps taking.  And day by day, it seems less strange that children -- age unknown -- will be living with us soon. 

How is it that my heart and, by extension, my imagination can feel attached to children I've never seen, and know nothing about? I can only think of it as a grace. A grace straight from the hand of God.  What a beautiful way for God to prepare my heart for our children through imagination.  It is a wonder.  

4 comments:

  1. Courtney - (First I must say I have my own little blonde haired Lucy.) Okay: I SO understand this post!! We asked for the same exact thing! So I think: Will it be back to crib bumpers and sippy cups, or looking for great preschool programs and really working hard on language skills? Recently, I had a small breakdown about the vastness and vagueness of our request - I looked back fondly at our first adoption, asking for a healthy baby girl. I could really imagine it easily. Now my heart skips a beat when I see the 2 yr old Ethiopian son of a friend, or if I see an African American boy exiting the school with all the other kindergardeners at dismissal time at my daughter's school. It has been harder to connect with it this time, because of the unknowns of age and number. But recently God gave me great peace about it and so I am just praying that God will prepare us for the kids that will be a part of our family. Good to know somebody else is in the same boat.

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  2. And by that I mean - the same wonderful boat because I know God has good things up His sleeve. I also loooove and was also thinking recently about how He uses imagination to draw us near our yet unknown children. It's wonderful.

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  3. God does have good things up his sleeve! What a great way of putting it! Where are you in the process? I'm looking forward to the day I can say we're on the waitlist! We're close, but not there yet. Glad to know other are taken away by their imagination -- it feels so surreal sometimes!

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  4. We have been officially waiting since July 23rd.

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